It’s been a few days since I got back from my trip. Not entirely sure what I was expecting, maybe a standing ovation from life? Mostly, I just wanted to tick off the box of “things I’ve stubbornly decided to do.” When I started, I was already mentally exhausted and ready to quit before I’d even cycled a single kilometer. And honestly, I wasn’t really feeling it that morning, but let’s be real: if we only did what we felt like, we’d all still be in bed, binge-watching shows and wondering where our lives went wrong. I suppose the lesson I’ve confirmed for myself is this: yes, I can push myself to do things, but should I? Absolutely no idea.
I’ve tried a bunch of different things, pushed myself to finish some, and abandoned even more. Why? Because I don’t have a clue what I actually want. So I just keep doing stuff to confirm that, nope, this isn’t it either. It’s like a never-ending game of existential dodgeball, but somehow, that’s what keeps me going. Occasionally, I do wonder how much longer I can keep playing, but hey, only time will tell – or it won’t. Also, fun fact: my physical and mental breakdown coincided perfectly with June’s “men’s mental health” month. But now it’s July, so naturally, no one gives a damn.
As for this cycling trip from Denmark to Croatia? Definitely not something I’d sign up for again. Well, except maybe I will, because I seem to have a habit of saying I’ll never do something and then doing it anyway. Case in point: moving back to Croatia, moving out of Croatia, doing a Master’s, starting my own company. You get the idea. But back to cycling. Twelve days alone on a bike? A bit much, to say the least. Hell, even three days felt like overkill, especially when you’re navigating high traffic (yes, my cycling standards are Danish now, thank you very much) and melting in extreme heat. Spoiler: I didn’t get whatever grand revelation I was hoping for. No “eureka” moment, no self-discovery, no divine epiphanies. But hey, at least I’m slightly physically exhausted, so that’s something, right?
I wish I had something more profound to say here, but really, I think I just need to plan the next pointless trip.
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